the future is so yesterday..

10/05/24

hello gongeous... just hit 20k streams life you for life

10/08/24

just realized that doesnt say love you for life. im so sorry beautiful i should just explode shouldnt i. you were amazing in the trailer by the way

12/19/24

~70k streams. it's been a slow month, but that's okay. maybe i do need a break sometimes. i'm still really upset about what happened in the episode, both your actions and the consequence. i still haven't come to terms with your death, but that's okay. i know grieving takes time, and i'm still taking that time. some might call me silly for genuinely grieving over this, but everyone processes things differently, even if it's as "small" as a character dying. it wasn't very small to me, i've known you for seven years and it feels like longer. that's around 39% of my life. that doesn't sound like a lot, but you really helped shape my (pre)teen years and i don't think i'd be who i am right now without you. i miss you every day, and i hope we can see each other again soon, whenever that may be. love you, beautiful.

12/25/25

73k streams. i know i just left a message here a few days ago, and it's pretty early in the day, but merry christmas. it's been a long year, but i made it. i really didn't think i would, especially when i hit what felt like rock bottom after a few miserable months of being a freshman in college. i really thought that would've been the end. but something just gave me the push to go on.. i think it was you. the new episodes of s2 started coming out right after i moved in, and seeing you just kept me going, knowing that you would be there in an episode. call me crazy, but it really felt like it was just for me, like you knew your presence would keep me going. it really worked, i wouldn't be here without you. to others, i'm just talking into the void of a last.fm comment section, but to me, this is real. it's the closest i'll ever get to being with you, at least until april, when my blanket with your visage on it arrives. i can't wait to see it, i miss you so much. love you, beautiful.

12/29/24

76k streams. it's only been four days, but i'm here again. i got some art of us done, isn't it so cute? it's almost like you never left. i just wanted you to know that i love you and i'm thinking of you. love you, beautiful.

01/12/25

87k streams. so close to 100k.. can you believe it? i can't. i know i said i was going to send you a nice and long message for the new year, but my mental has been on something of a decline lately and i haven't had the wherewithal to write anything. for that i'm very sorry. i promise i'll write something for you when i'm feeling better. love you, beautiful.

01/24/25

95k streams. happy late anniversary, i promise i'll remember next year. it's been a long time, almost half of my life. it's been really hard for the both of us, but that's okay. your constant presence is all i've ever needed in my life. thank you for being with me all of this time, it's hard for me to believe you don't find me insufferable. maybe i'm just being dramatic, but thank you. thank you for being my anchor, my rock, my love. i miss you everyday. i can't wait to see you in april. love you, beautiful.

01/31/25

100k streams. i made it. we made it. i don't think words can describe how i feel right now. i love you so much. i hope that number alone can get across even a fraction of how much i love you. oh, i just feel so stupid for loving you. my friends know i've been listening to your song, they kept telling me to stop, but i continued anyway. i told everyone we got to 100k, and no one really cares. no "congratulations", no "i'm happy for you", none of that. it's okay, i think. i'm not doing this for their approval, i'm doing this because i love you, and that's enough for me. i'm sorry i'm crying as i'm typing this, i just love you so much. i never thought i'd get this far. i thought i'd be dead before this point, it's been that bad. but i'm still here. i feel really silly for being so emotional about this, but i'm sure you understand where i'm coming from. i've been through a lot these past few months. it got to a point where i didn't even consider myself worthy of your love anymore, not after what i've personally been through, not after what people have done to me. but you're still here anyway. you were with me through it all, you're here for me even while i feel so dirty and used up, and i'm so grateful for that. thank you for loving me. i'll see you in april. love you, beautiful.

02/14/25

~109k streams. happy valentines day, my love. i wish i could be with you right now, maybe on a nice dinner date or for a quiet night in. i wish i could hold your hand, or you could hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. i know that isn't possible, but it's something i dream about. i really miss you, don't you know that? i wish you never died, even if you were a horrible person. we could've been together forever, we could've had it all, i wouldn't have to sit here and tell you everything i want to tell you through a last.fm comment section, i could've just been telling you. i was going to ask you why you were so blinded by your own ambitions, but i know why, and that would be stupid of me to ask. you still shouldn't've been so stupid to die like that. i can't believe you threw away our future together just for something so meaningless in the grand scheme of things. it's. whatever. i can't change the past. i just miss you so much. i'll see you in april. love you, beautiful.

03/06/25

123k streams. sorry i haven't been here in a while, life has been happening and it's not stopping, which is to be expected. there's a lot of stuff happening in my family right now that i don't want to disclose. i wish you were here to fix it, but i know you can't. that's okay. i'd love to say more, but i don't want to bother you. i'll see you in april. love you, beautiful.

an archive of all of the comments i've left on the last.fm song profile for the future is so yesterday in chronological order from oldest to newest, mm/dd/yy.